While I am waiting for my wrist to be repaired so that I can get on with my hobbies...
Here are my satirical Non-PC thoughts for today:
Gulf of Mexico fishermen can now can their catch without an in-between step. Shrimps or Tuna or sardines in oil - from net to tin in one go... and maybe even provide a laxative dolphin-sushi for the Japanese market.
I used to be proud that BP was British... but now BP means blackened pelicans...
And guess what - some eejit has seriously suggested that the US NUKE THE LEAK! So not only will you get instant sardines in oil, you can even open a can and have a nightlight that will glow in the dark for the next 350 million years....
Listening to the financial news... Oh dear... BP announces that there will be no dividends on their shares this year. Oh dear - better check your portfolios!
The quickest way to plug the leak would have been to wad last year'sprofits into the hole. There were enough dollar bills to stuff into the hole and make a paper mache plug. Or an even more non PC suggestion would be to send the management down as plugs... Oh no - hot air wouldn't work.
Instead of hair, perhaps they could use shredded dollar bills to absorb the mess?
Cynic's thought: what do we do with all those poor dead seabirds? Wick them and light a chain of mourning candles all around the oil multi's head offices?
The swamps used to be hotbeds of illegal bootleg stills during the prohibition... will we soon see bootleg oil refineries?
Heyyyyy - beach holidays with free sun tan oil...
Maybe now we'll see fewer mutts down on the beach, cr@pping in the sand... YAY!!! Let's hear it for dog-free beaches.
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